I Left the Magnolias on Your Doorstep ‘Cause You Were Going to Step on Them Anyway

 

Magnolias

 

Could’ve just said something

Instead, you give me the silent treatment

— the end is the start—

 

CCD

When the bees stop buzzing,

And disappear, ultimately leading

To the destruction of the whole colony,

Hence the name colony collapse disorder 

 

When my heart stops beating,

And you disappear, ultimately leading

To the destruction of my heart,

Hence the name cardiac collapse disorder 

 

Cold, Cold, how you shut the Door

I don’t even know what this poem is for

Empty, that’s what I feel

Invested too much, 

and now I’m left with consequences to deal

Bullet Proof

After I shot my shot,

I learned you were bulletproof

Ricochet off the wall and shot right through me

Crimson red drops as I fall onto be

Nothing but a handful of ash

Rotting to the look of your lash

Couldn’t buy love with cash

 

U-Turn

When I see you, u make me turn

Couldn’t make a right, so I just ran through 

The light that was red, was not my concern 

Driving that convertible Corvette blue

Guess my scars can’t even make me learn

The pain of losing what is true

The pain of losing what is you

 

Tell me nothing, I'm driving drunk

Hitting the gas, I can’t read what I'm on

Moving side to side, I can’t think straight

Can’t remember anything after 8

Lost my balance, and now I’m falling till dawn

U don’t seem to give a fuck; guess I’m too late

 

I walk up to you just to make a U-turn

Cause I can’t make that final step,

Press that button, and it might just all go black

Fear, that’s what drags me back

Cause I know I don’t have a license 

But seeing you just don’t put me in my right sense

 

When there’s all these bright city lights

Do you even see me in your back mirror,

Am I even in your rearview?

I’m just a plain yellow traffic light

to you, amongst all these pompous neon signs 

 

So I’m hitting the road, Intoxicated

The thought of you, tried to eradicate it

Alcohol and drugs, they’re a beautiful lie

Temporarily hiding from the pain that I,

Feel like it’s killing me, slowly inside 

so I don’t do them, I want to look you, eye to eye

Shameless, around you I don’t want to be shy

Knowing that either way, I’ll have to say goodbye 

Knowing that, I guess I’ll give it a try

 

They’re probably more desirable, right?

Probably promising u the stars in the sky at night

But they’re deceiving, cause artificial goes blight

Can’t promise anything, just that I’ll love you so right

 

So I’ll take a u-turn and change directions 

So it’s your turn, to give me an answer 

So I’ll take a u-turn straight to you

Tulip Petals

When I think of you and me,

Sitting on the hillside, watching the sunset

Picking the petals of a pink tulip,

Holding on to you with a tight grip

 

Your head resting on my lap

Waking up to your gentle tap

Hair marinated in the scent of the spring breeze

Girl, keep me warm forever, so I don’t freeze

 

Intoxicated by your fragrance, I can’t think straight 

My heart can tell no lies, but my mouth can

Looking for the perfect timing, I hope I’m not too late

Give me your approval, so I can show you I’m the right man

 

Times ticking down, I can count with my fingers

So much to do, but only the thought of you lingers

Girl, I swear, I’ll be there for you, both highs and lows

You have no clue how deep my love goes

 

Cause you’re my tulip from heaven 

Our two lips locked until seven

Love without limits, I can give you everything

So tell me your answer before you leave

 

Tulip petals, they bloom, and they shrivel

But my love for you, I promise it won’t swivel

True and deep love, that’s what tulips mean

Girl, every day I see you, I’m living in a dream

Tell me how do you do it, keeping me up day and night

Be my best friend, cause it only feels right

I’ll love you just the way you are

But when I try to express my love, you seem so far

 

Cause you’re my muse, but you don’t know

Picking tulip petals, deciding whether I should tell you

Cause she’s my everything, that’s why I can’t show

All I can say is that my feelings are true

 

I feel like I’m repeating myself

Can’t say it enough, I feel like a broken record

So take me and dust me off your shelf

Cause I just know you’re the right chord

 

Joking around you to hide my feelings

On God, you’re picture perfect

Asking you questions that I know the answer to

Nobody makes my heart beat like you do

Nonsense, the language that I start speaking when you’re around

Aphrodite, girl, your beauty is inexplicable

 

Nightingale, you make me sing and cry

Attractive, I want to be close to you

Radiant, I guess that’s just in your nature

Irrevocable, you’ve come too deep into my life

Magical, I can’t explain what you do to me

 

Kryptonite, you make me paralyzed

I think I need some time off, you’re killing me, but I guess I’m

Masochistic, your so much worth the pain

 

When the world gives me too many questions and not that many answers.

Girl, you may be another question, but also my most important answer.

 

Rumors

“I heard this and that,”

That’s what she said

Do you look at me with prejudice?

Cause that’s killing me dead

 

Don’t know what it’s about, but it brings insecurity

I don’t fear anything, just the uncertainty

Tried to take it right to the chin, it ended up swallowing me

I don’t care about rumors, just that others take them literally

 

So let me talk, cause you're making me unstable

I don’t care about others, just worried you’ll look at me with a label

Cause rumors are tumors and spread like COVID-19

So I ask you to block your ears and please just look at me clean

 

Yeah, 

   You said that people you used to like have a special place in your heart.

I lied, I don’t deny it

   They were special, but you’re special, it’s different, and I don’t try to hide it

But, I don’t know what you’ve heard, and that’s what’s stealing my sleep

   Insomnia, I’m questioning your faith in me, whether it’s enough to make a leap.

Your prejudice is the only thing I fear, cause my feelings aren’t cheap

Maybe my actions may have looked weird

Distortion and lies spreading, that’s exactly what I feared

I’m sweating under the covers, “what if she thinks I’m a creep”

Your overthinking makes me overthink, girl, I’m losing my sleep

Misunderstandings standing tall in front of me

Call me a stalker, but you know that’s not what I am

It’s all in the past, but the past comes back to haunt

So that’s why I’m writing this in Arial, 11-point font

Little me had feelings but didn’t know how to express

Tried to use what he could, tried his best to impress

Got it all wrong, so he tried to address

But it was too late, the situation was already a mess

 

So little me did what he thought was the only thing he could do,

To turn his back on the world that stoned him for his naivety,

His purity polluted by the lies that attracted hate,

Lost all his pieces, set up for a checkmate

That’s how he got his first taste of bitter society

 

But I’ve learned from my mistakes,

I’ve tried to conceal my feelings from anyone

But then you come into my life and break that threshold

Nothing weird or screwed, all real, no fakes

 

I probably mean little to you,

I’m probably a little mean to you,

I’m probably a nobody, compared to all the boys you’ve loved

I’m probably sarcastic, weird, lethargic,.. nothing 

Who tries to roast you every time you choke

 

Whether you know or don’t, my feelings won’t change

I feel them flickering, and I feel something strange

The present gives me fear of how I might risk it all

You don’t even seem to be interested in me on the call

And that’s why I’m writing this in case my feelings dissolve

 

You sure mean a lot to me,

You’re probably a little mean to me,

You’re definitely special, compared to all the girls I’ve loved

You’re funny, beautiful, kind-hearted, dumb… everything

Who makes me smile just with her presence alone

You cut out a piece of me, 

Now I bleed internally,

Your smile is contagious, now I think I’m lovesick

You make me feel things no one can mimic

 

But rumors are tumors, and I have to amputate

For your good, I’ll leave my feelings in front of the gate

Throw them away or keep them, whatever you want

Step on them, trample over them, and taunt

Stanzas just don’t do it justice,

How your beauty’s so effortless

 

Scared I’d lose you, so I keep my lips sealed

Scared I’d lose you, I might have been a little coarse

Scared I’d lose you, so I suppressed my feelings inside.

Scared I’ll lose you, so I loved you in 11-point Arial font.

Courage

I saw you today, laughing and smiling

Just that it wasn’t me.

I saw you today, beautiful as usual,

Just that you didn’t look at me

 

You say I’m mean, I don’t know if you’re joking

And I overthink, just like I always do

What am I to you, cause the feelings you’re evoking 

Make me overthink, just like you always do

 

So is it a one-way road, right?

How you treat me, I’m probably left out of your sight

What am I supposed to do when you say I’m like a brother

When I want you to be my significant other

 

How am I supposed to react when you call me a buddy

When you got me feeling all weird and fuzzy

Say, I love you, girl, but I’m out of time

Can’t think of a line, so I’ll make it rhyme

 

I just don’t have the courage to confess

That you’ve been keeping me up

That I’ve fallen for you, deep

That I’ve become a total mess

That I can’t say I love you so, I say whatsup

That I love you knowing the fall is gonna be steep

 

And you don’t help, you’re cold as ice

Puncture my heart when I put down my pride

Hurt me again with the pain that resides

Kill me with that smile, wash me away with that morning tide

눈— 🤍

 

한밤중에 눈이 온다.

새하얗고 고운 눈꽃들이 하나하나씩 쌓이기 시작한다.

한송이, 두송이, 날개짓을 하며 내려온다

놀이터 바닥에 살포시 떨어져 친구들을 기다린다

 

좋아할 시간도 잠시, 눈꽃은 금방 녹아내린다

마치 아무일도 없었다는 듯이, 내 눈 앞엔 물웅덩이 하나만 남아 있다

내 마음을 잠시동안 녹였고, 겨울의 찬바람이 다시 꽁꽁 얼렸다.

궁금해서 열었던 내 마음에는 상처만 남을 뿐이다

 

그래서 눈이 안왔으면 좋겠다.

그럼 너무나도 쉽게 다시 마음을 꺼내어줄 나이기에,

상처받을 걸 알면서도 바보처럼 웃으면서 건네줄 나이기에,

내가 날 너무 잘 알기에,

눈이 제발 안왔으면 좋겠다

 

근데 마음은 거짓말을 안한다,

아니 사실 못한다.

너 앞에서는 아닌척, 신경안쓰이는 척 다하지만

내 마음은 알고 있다, 사랑이라는거.

하지만 손끝에 닿으면 녹을까봐,

내 진심을 알면 녹아버릴까봐,

너를 쉽게 잡지는 못하겠다.

 

계절이 바뀔때, 너도 떠나겠지만

다음 겨울에 다시 올 생각을 하면서 버틸 생각이다.

누구보다 아름답고, 순수한 눈꽃,

결국 넌 다른 짝을 찾는걸 알면서도 

난 겨울 바람에서 기다린다.

 

누구보다 아름답고, 소중한 눈꽃,

난 너한테 무슨 존재일지,

궁금하면서도 두렵다.

두려워서 말도 못하고 놓칠것 같아서,

그래서 다음 첫눈은 같이 봤으면,

그랬으면 좋겠다.

 

ㅓㅐ무ㅜㅁ: 좀ㅅ ㅊ무 ㅑ ㄴ묘 ?

All stories come to an end

But this one ended before it could start

Cause it needed two sides, only one played its part

Maybe this means I’ll have to pack my feelings

And just have to let you be

 

Every mistake is a lesson,

But this one isn’t a mistake.

Would be a lie that I don’t regret it,

But even if I could turn back time,

I would fall for you again, I bet it

 

Some things aren’t meant to be

Like I had to learn from you and me

I’ve learned a lot from what I felt

More experience under the belt

Girl you make my heart melt

 

So the exigence of this poem

Is to prove that my emotions are real

So I cannot deny them, depending on what I feel

Cause in the moment they were true

So I don’t deny them, my feelings for you