Sick of This

I'm sick of this

Sick of admiring you from afar

Sick of thinking of you and not being with you

Sick of our courteous hellos and goodbyes

Sick of loving you in secret

Although it isn't much of a secret

At least not among my friends

It's the biggest secret I can keep from you

Yet I almost tell you every time we're alone together

I'm sick of the late nights staring at your profile picture

And scrolling through your posts

Looking at your posts from your siblings’ weddings

Or hanging out with friends

I'm sick of looking at you

And reverting to a friendly smile when you notice

Or having to look away so you don't catch on

I'm sick of only being able to admire for a few seconds

Before having to look away so no one else notices and catches on