Dear Mum

Sorry but am I a joke to you?

I'm aware that I'm the middle child, so that I don't have that much value, but is this really true?

I try to find some hope in my books, you say I'm lazy.

I try to ignore the pain, you say I'm ignorant.

I say what's in my heart, you say I'm crazy. Is this how a mother should treat her daughter?

I don't know, because you were never there for me, when I needed you.

Looking around, I see other families.

I see other mums being protective and caring.

I try to remember the last time you held me in your arms telling me everything will be fine, don't you cry.

Now I'm lying here, silent tears running down my ugly cheeks, you won't even notice.

You criticize me in everything I am, won't leave me space to live, to breathe, to be free.

Try to be more like your older sister, but why?

Don't I have a own soul and body?

You won't even bother asking me how I'm doing.

I feel depressed you say to stop overreacting.

Do you not know the pain is real?