Mrs E’s infestation

Mrs E. had an infestation

Sucking blood

Causing scabs

All sorts of aggravation

The sort of nippy, crawly mites

You squash

Without thinking

Filthy, nasty little shites

Her body was all pocked, all over

Red and pussy

Weeping

Completely fucking mad they drove her

The more she tried to kill them, the more of them there were

She had a bath in permethrin

Burned them off

And shaved off all her hair

Mr U. (a specialist who’s been around for ever)

Knows Mrs E’s affliction well

Has seen it all before

Says trying to get rid’s an unachievable endeavour

Says once they start they’ll never stop

Says they’ll eat her out and in

And grow and grow in billions

Too many to get shot of, he’s afraid she’s for the chop

Mrs E. was mystified

If there’s nothing left of me she said

There’s nothing left for them

It’s not just me, we’ve all died

Correct said Mr U, it happens all the time

These poxy things have no brain

Just a mouth and an arsehole

A universal paradigm

Resign yourself to your fate he said, things are what they are

The good thing is because of you

They’ll all be dead too

You’ll be looked on as a star