The Journey so far

How can you start again, after being unable to stop, having to stand idly by whilst your life crashes down around you.
Feeling betrayed by the very person who claimed to love you and by a person you called a friend.

They say it comes in threes, first the betrayal, then the loss and grief of a loved one and then the loss of the person you once was.

Anxiety hits, doubled with the depression of being unable to control the downward spiral, wanting no more than just to leave it all behind.
How easy you misjudge that to be.

If you are lucky, you have people close to you to stop you from destroying it all and yourself.
It's only then you can really start to pick up the pieces of your broken self and start again on a different journey.

So she picked herself up and slowly put herself back together, but some pieces no longer fitted like a collection of incomplete jigsaw puzzles.
So she had to make new pieces to fit with the old ones.

Not having a chance to say goodbye is sometimes harder than the actual goodbye, it's the leaving things unsaid when you thought you would have the time,
Time is a precious thing so make every minute and every moment count.

Lost in the darkness of my thoughts and feelings, letting it consume me because I could fight no longer,
I was tired, tired from caring, tired of hurting, I let the sorrow and grief embrace me and take me.

My friends saw the light had left me,  and all that left was darkness,
So together they became the light to guide me back home.
They saved me and encouraged me in the journey I am on.

Two things and two people changed my perspective and pushed me to change my life,
And my friends encouraged my decision when I set my mind to this course.

The first step was the hardest but I'm focused on the road ahead, and with each step it gets easier.
I have never in all my life felt so much love and support from friends and even strangers, and at times it is overwhelming but it makes me feel grateful, that I am inspiring people and being inspired by them.

I have never felt so much further now from the person I once was
once drowning myself in negativity, anger and addiction.
Now I see myself and everything with new eyes and a new mindset, I only want to become the person I know in my heart I really am but was scared to become.

I am thankful for everything and everyone and when people tell me they are proud of me, it warms my heart and it makes me also feel proud of all my hard work and of all the work yet to be done.

I also hope to inpire more people to start their own journeys and start filling the world with kindness and compassion rather than the uncaring and cold world we are currently living in.

The pandemic was meant to bring us together but it drove us further apart. We became less social and more self involved because of this and slowly we are destroying ourselves from within.

Think on that, the next time you say you are too busy for the people that matter,
Before people become like ghosts that live inside us and this is how we keep them alive.