Excerpt from “fake” encomium given years ago...

at Lake Wobegone High School (my alma mater),

and recently discovered ridiculous rough draft
amidst plethora of junk emails
while practice reading some lines
regarding Midsummer Night's Dream
upcoming performance.

Arch back like a professional ballet dancer

to stand out from other pedestrian applicants

seeking to fill my well-worn shoes.

 

Illuminate your soul

via modest communication

sans sole full insight

acquired thru being apprenticed

with this storied prestigious law firm

of Anne Culle, Achilles Heale,

and Marathon Nike.

Keep your nose

to the academic grindstone

despite the temptation

to appropriate the international family business

and graduate with supreme accolades

from this famous father.

 

He forsook frivolity

per his peers

in exchange for a stock reputation

of gentility honesty, and integrity

despite his humble roots

as the only male heir

of a Middle Eastern European

Jewish mother and father.

 

They scrimped, saved and sacrificed

scarce resources to set the stage

for this scion

of well-deserved fame and fortune.

 

Never forget those grandparents

whose adherence to work

their fingers to the bone

(literally) allowed, enabled

and provided this founding partner

per the trio of stalwart attorneys

for the underdogs

of the World Wide Web.

 

Match deeds with credo of obedience

to the law of the land,

as epitomized by Abraham Lincoln.

 

Such obeisance to a democratic dogma

will be firm stepping-stones

to engender, jump/kickstart, and kindle tinder

an Amazon zone

of cathartic karma

from paternal persona.

 

Such acquiescence toward morals

of the conscience (and remembrance

of previous generations

blood, sweat and tears)

will serve as intrinsic manna

for clients to clamor

like an unstoppable rolling stone

to seek counsel

from one whose genuine

heart felt equalitarian demeanor

a near perfect recipe for satisfaction

for helping others smooth out

jagged abutments arising in their lives.

 

Rather than lecture and command

with a dictatorial cutthroat reign of terror

(as casually espoused in “The Prince”

by Machiavelli), this democratic,

humanistic, liberal minded torchbearer

of justice advises active listening

(as advocated by the late Jean Dole,

my renown mentor from Lima, Pennsylvania),

inculcating intuitive posturing

toward delivering random acts of kindness.

 

This includes offer services

pro bono (with Cher full smile)
if an individual, family,

municipality, et cetera appears copacetic

yet struggles against insurmountable odds

from even chew will fickle finger of fate.

 

Exemplify by example of zeal

for the underdog

(immersed in some catastrophic series

of unfortunate events)

that money need not be demanded

before the welfare of the downtrodden

(sic – such as the Harris Family

from Penn Valley –

who live among the wealthiest people,

yet feel like outcasts of Poker Flats)

from the mere exuberance

of witnessing an ear to ear smile of gratitude.

 

Rather than be biased, inclined

to be prejudiced based

on cursory observations

of one or many barely clinging

to the life raft of survival,

I (as a humble human)

encourage a relationship of trust

before casting an indiscriminate eye

toward those less fortunate

to live in the lap of luxury.

 

Luck (or the lack thereof)

an invisible yet potent additive

to this mix for those flush

with disposable income

or exiled to a hand to mouth

hardscrabble existential dilemma.

 

Daily acknowledgement

for ethnic, genetic and quixotic

dice throw of chance in tandem

with loving support of immediate

kith and kin instrumental

in keeping in check

bombastically egotistical,

haughtily radical degradation

of fixation of values

steeped in appreciation

of aesthetics, beauty, charm,

decency, equality

from gifts hoed inside.

 

Joyfulness keeps love moving

needling offset predilections.

 

Quality rests squarely

upon the pillars of staying

within the bounds of service

to those less able bodied

or beset with untold obstacles

that discourage setting virtue

(or the closest approximation

of what that means

to the inquiring mind)

as precedent to blaze
(while in the saddle) a trail

of care and concern.

 

Always maintain benevolent devotion

forswearing evilness, greediness, lewdness...

Invoke keepsake mandating omnipotent

natural personal righteousness

to vaccinate yourself against

heinous, nefarious, pernicious,

et cetera rapacious

trapdoors of selfishness.