Pain

I wake up in the morning,
the birds are soaring, I feel awake yet my heart yearns for me to feel the pain.
What is it?

It's in how I laugh in the smallest things,
It's the millisecond for which the joyous smile on my face breaks.

I want to be happy, I want hope, I want the light
but I feel as though I am stuck in a parallel universe that exists away from happy ever after.

I smile and I laugh, I feel refreshed but then it pleads for me.
I have to be okay, it's life, right?

Pain, will you teach me how to live?
I feel like a bird singing, hoping for happiness in a landfill site.

I go through my day and I feel happy, I talk to people and it makes my day.
Yet I'm surprised I can. It's what I'm trying to understand.

Pain, I won't say your name.
But you plead with me to feel you.

I always thought you were vain,
but now I think your the one thing I forgot to embrace.