The moth that didn't know the way out

Yes, I feel it. I feel it after all these months. But I am afraid of it - of these strange feelings. I no longer recognize myself in my own body. Saying those eight letters feels so strange and surreal. All these years I thought my heart was made of ice. An empty black cave whose way out does not exist. 
See your face everywhere, but can't touch it.
Hear your breath, but can't feel it on my body.
Our hearts beat, but in different places. They are separated. Separated from the present. 
I hear the music, and you seem to be in the middle of it. Every single melody, every single note, makes my heart beat wildly. As if the music is working together with my heart rhythm. 
My veins constrict and oxygen seems to escape from my body. My thoughts create thoughts about you. If I planted a rose for each one, my beloved, I could walk along for days in a garden full of roses. 
I am lost. A lost soul who feels the urge to look into your eyes. Oh, the looks - I long for them. The looks that rested on my back and slowly pierced the wound on my heart.

Six letters - when these sound, I hear the rush of my blood through my veins.
You are my vitamin, my dopamine, my adrenaline.
When I think of our connection, I feel like a moth that is attracted to the light, but burns itself out every time it gets close to it. 
I am tugged back and forth by impulses, like a bunch of hungry people fighting for a piece of bread; wanting to nibble it, wanting to fill themselves - with matter.
You are like a beautiful drug that keeps me from sinking. After all this, I can't let go, like a hungry lioness with the prey in her mouth. 
Like you are a part of what composes me. A star that has now been scattered into thousands of fragments. 
You, my beloved, have the puzzle pieces in your hand, you my beloved are able to put them together again. 
The question of the "why" of our meeting does not fade away. The question of the "why" of our getting to know each other, too. 

Why did they take you away from me so quickly?

Why did you let me go? 

Was it she who captured your heart?