Sometimes I miss you when you’re not there
I miss your brown eyes, the soft feel of your hair,
The perfection of your smile-I couldn’t help but stare.
I knew the moment we met we could potentially be the perfect pair.
Sometimes I miss the happy laughs that we would share,
And how peaceful it felt around you- the lightness in the air,
No matter what we were doing, what time of day or where.
I really believed what we had was rare,
Beautiful and true, you were so debonair.
I never thought for a second, never got scared,
Never imagined you could become my worst nightmare.
Sometimes, even now, I wonder if I can bear
The gut-wrenching stab that comes with knowing that you didn’t even care.
Sometimes I miss you.
Someone I miss the times when you made me feel so high
So far, in fact, it could far surpass the sky!
You made my heart melt when you would look into my eyes;
You were so handsome; I would always think of you, with a smile, and sigh.
It was all so easy, we never even had to try.
You made so many promises, swore to me that you would never lie;
Always reassured me and knew the words to say to comfort me when I would cry,
And you, alone, drowned out the voices in my head that told me to die.
Never did I think you could ever be so sly.
Never did I think you would ever make me question why.
Never did I think it would end with goodbye.
Sometimes I miss you.
Sometimes I remember the zoo in my stomach when you would say my name.
I think about the photos I wanted to take of us to frame.
I remember you telling me about every tribulation you overcame;
How I would reassure you when you would call yourself lame,
How our passion burned brighter than any roaring flame,
How I would have chosen you any given day over any amount of money or any type of fame.
That is….. Until the day I found out about the other dame;
The day I was crushed to discover it had all been a game.
Unfortunately, after that, I knew I would never be the same.
Sometimes I miss you.
Sometimes I miss the way that we would kiss;
The feeling of your warmth upon my lips,
Even more the way we intertwined hips.
I always believed nothing could be better than this.
It was the utmost perfect feeling of bliss.
Every now and then I begin to reminisce.
Sometimes I miss you.
Sometimes I miss you until I remember
The way everything shortly began to dismember.
I was in love, my eyes were blind
To the fact that you had went out and already begun to find
Someone else that you would deem better, more worth your while,
While I was losing myself just to make you smile.
You wanted me to be someone I was not,
I tried so hard, in awe of the thought
That maybe, just maybe, we were meant to be;
Little did I know you just wanted a fling.
You tried so hard to make me believe
That you would always be good for me.
Shortly thereafter, your heart began to freeze ice cold;
You blew off our plans that I tried so hard to hold.
You pushed me away, and I didn’t know
That sooner than later you’d want to go out on your own.
Your mind was already set, already made up;
I was thirsting to death, desperately trying to drink from your empty cup.
You broke me down, confound me to my bed.
You brought back all the voices inside of my head;
They shouted so loudly, they wanted me dead.
“Death, death, imminent death” was the only phrase I could think
When I saw her messages and felt my heart immediately sink.
I dropped to my knees,
I pleaded, “Oh please,
Let me wake up! This must be a dream!”
All along I thought we were a team,
Unfortunately, I learned not everything is as it seems.
I broke down in the floor, the tile was cold;
In my head, on replay, were all the lies I was told.
I didn’t believe that it could be true,
I didn’t believe it could be really be you.
I lifted my heavy head and screamed at the sky,
Over and over, I bellowed at God, “Why?!”
I never thought that you would be the one to make me cry;
I never thought you’d be the one to bring back the feeling that I wanted to die.
Sometimes I miss you.
Sometimes I miss the way you would laugh,
I always wanted to capture it in a photograph.
You were always so positive, reassuring and true;
That’s until I realized it wasn’t really you.
You wore a made-up mask,
It must’ve been a task,
To keep all the real things hidden so no one would ask
Any questions about your deep, dark past.
I thought that you finally realized with me,
There was nothing to hide from, no reason to be
Scared or afraid or full of anxiety
Because I already loved you dearly;
I thought you realized with me you could finally be free.
But you tore my heart out and spat in my face,
Acted like I was nothing but a disgrace.
Sometimes I miss you.
Sometimes I think I do.
Then I remember, it wasn’t me, but you.
You were the one that cheated and you were the one that lied;
You were the one to cause me agony, enough to cry.
You were the wolf, I was the sheep;
You were the one to cause me grief, enough to weep.
You were the master, I was your pathetic puppet;
All I got out of it was a few chicken nuggets.
I always thought we had a spark
But you always wanted to meet up in the dark.
You had me fooled, and I was insane,
To believe that someone like you wouldn’t leave me to agonize alone in the rain.
Sometimes I miss you.
Only sometimes, it’s true;
But believe me, I know now, I’m much better off without you.
- Author: smunday35 ( Offline)
- Published: August 13th, 2023 16:46
- Comment from author about the poem: This is a story about a woman overcoming her abuse.
- Category: Reflection
- Views: 8
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