Anger Sadness and worthlessness

Do I deserve to be happy? I use to think I did that the hell I went through was a trial that someday would end

Do I deserve to be loved? apparently I don't no amount of good I do will ever cure the hole in my heart and the pain continually coming too

Do I deserve to be here? now that a question that still a miss and at this point and all this evil I really starting to wish I didn't exist

Time after time and challenge after challenge I do all these things and I never measure up

Time after time and trying not to give up hope but it seem that I was a tool and a joke and I guess it was about time I woke up

Time after time and effort after effort and I'm tired of the way it feel this anger and sadness and worthlessness I just wanna disappear

Do I deserve to be happy?  I use to think that I did but I guess pretending I was happy only works for a little bit

Do I deserve to be loved? apparently I don't and it better to be alone then receive fake love that will never work

Do I deserve to be here? well the answer to that is now extremely clear and now I know they want me to disappear and not exist to see me angry and make feel completely unloved and total worthless and it crazy because to them they find that perfect.