I wish for you to be my Mistress Death --
My black-winged angle --
And the theft of my breath --
Though I know not your name --
Nor even your crest --
I wish to be --
The theft of your breath
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Author:
HoboBilbo (
Offline) - Published: August 21st, 2023 07:03
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 14
Offline)
Comments5
I'm looking for criticism. Please strip this to pieces and berate me.
Masochist.
That's dark.
Boho
Negatively or positively?
Depends on which side your on.
Who’s stealing who’s breath?
The idea was we were stealing each other's breath. I admit it's unfinished & I don't believe it will be finished; I've lost what little talent/skill of the craft I've previously had. After it's first writing I felt as if it needed a middle/second group of stanzas for clarity & to bridge the two you see together.
Nothing wrong with a work in progress. Took me six years to write this
Check it out. It’s presented on video Of you like either Jazz or Hip Hop it might interest you.
https://mypoeticside.com/show-poem-163174
I quite enjoyed your work. I was in the tail end of a depression when it was (part and partial) whispered into my ear by some voice other than my own; the individual who was on my mind when the poem came to me - they and I no longer speak. My internal voice for poetic inspiration was muted by a medication about a week after this post (I'm off this medication now as it was making me behave like a cold, manic robot). I appreciate your message, though.
Dig
Wow, dark.
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