Tethered

For many years I have lugged around this lifeless corpse,

constantly searching for something to prove that it is in fact alive and with purpose,

and although it is attached to me,

and is one with me,

I feel separate from it.

I even have a personality attached to it that I mirror from those around me as me myself really has no identity.

As I look at this creature in mirrors and pictures,

I feel uneasy and pick apart at each and every imperfection,

as I stare the image contorts leaving me confused as to how this creature is actually perceived by those around it.

I have always wanted to cut ties with this corpse,

as it slowly rots over the years,

but for some reason I don’t feel strong enough to enforce this action upon myself,

is it because I fear what pain it will cause and that the pain will trick the corpse there is still some life remaining for a short period of time?

But I’ve caused pain before, so why is this different?

Because it will hurt more?

It makes me feel weak that I can’t untether myself from this mass of cells.

I desperately hope that I find it within me to release myself from this zombie-like creature in the near future,

and I wish myself the best of luck.