Waiting

I enjoy waiting. 

However long it is.

Minutes, hours, days 

Even decades.

Maybe because it's all I’ve ever known.

Knees flushed to chest,

I sit on the stairs

Never looking away from the door

Because of hopes that I hold for the future.

 

The sheer curiosity of the future.

Luckily, curiosity kills time

Therefore time is useless when waiting.

Therefore I enjoy it.

All I think of is what’ll happen, right? 

Bright smiles and soft giggles 

So is my mind while waiting. 

 

But still, I hate waiting.

Maybe because sometimes even often

Hope masks great despair.

And I look hopeless and pathetic 

Sitting and waiting in a timeless loop

And I think of how long it takes

For you to come for me.

It rips me apart. 

 

But even so, I scream

Filled with either despair or hope

I scream at the moon.

And the tiny bright stars.

I beg for time to end

So I won’t feel ridiculous for waiting

Because, sometimes I enjoy it.

But most times, I hate it.