My life story

Him: why are you always mean?

Me: Do you want to know?

Him: Yes

Me: ok I have been trying and trying to be nice and I have tried but no matter how hard I try all of y'all are going to think I am mean how the heck do you want me to prove I am nice when you and all will think I am acting like a freak i just don't f*cking get it do you know how many years I have tried to prove it?

Him: NO

Me: exactly I have tried to prove I am a nice person for 3 years and still people think I am mean I am tired and tired of hearing people talk about me badly and hearing people say your mean or you're a freak or your annoying how is that even possible I try to try but it keeps going to the same thing. I have thought to do things that are not worth because I think to myself “I am worth it I am strong, and I know I can achieve this goal because all the people that tell me I am worthless or that I am mean or that I am a freak or annoying are people who lie because they are jealous that I can handle”. What I am suffering from. I used to suffer from depression but I would never show my depression to anyone. I would always put on a fake smile and say I'm alright when the truth is I'm not. I hate myself for who I am.

He: Oh I'm sorry

Me: Don't be. I am tired of hearing that lame word now if you ask why are you afraid of people touching you or why are you scared of you touching them?

Him: why

Me: because I’m scared 

him: of what?

Me: of hurting people and of hurting their soul and of being a fucking bad influence i just wish I could stop being scared of people I love and I wish I could just have truth

 friends that would never leave me for who I am and who would understand, I do give up I can't Say I don't but I get up every time I have to go to work and handle a b*tch stressing me to hell I just wish people could know how I feel and all those people who says I am antisocial yes I am why because I am tired of having to use my annoying voice I am tired of hearing people say that my voice is annoying another reason is because I’m scared to talk to stranger i just think every time I talk people they get stressed and annoyed because of my voice.

 

 i just want to say to all people who suffer from bullying and of depression and anxiety to never give up and never listen to what people say because your worth life I love y'all.