stardust

i saw you just the other day, wandering around the woods.

same height, same bearing,

same hat, same upturned nose,

there’s nothing left from it by now.

gone under some force,

greater than mine.

i saw your face in every tree, kept asking strangers where to go.

same blurry eyes, same fingers.

i like to think you’re not that far,

you’re not just bones under my feet,

though i know very well —

you are.

so tell me,

were you a ghost?

a fever dream of a starved young boy, so hungry he couldn’t hear his voice?

just tell me,

were you a lighting?

a delusion of a traveller from afar, so tired he couldn’t see the stars?

no matter what you were —

i know you are in every draft i feel against my skin.

in the morning, lying awake, the sun’s burning out my eyes.

i taste you in every sour tear that falls onto my lips

with rain, i know you’re crying from above

i’m sorry that i lost all of your love

i try to give myself the kisses that you gave me,

i’m re-existing in my endless dreams.

i pray to God, i know he isn’t there,

i’d sell my soul to go see our lane again.

wild gooseberries, we’re reading fairytales,

the corners of your mouth lift up.

i didn’t know the time we had was at its limit,

i didn’t know i’d lose my favorite song.

you told me we’d be asteroids when we die,

and when we fall, we’d leave no fingernails,

but now you’re bathing in the stardust, and i, most tragic, am still human

so when will we meet again?

once the cycle is complete,

will we meet again?