Why do I still care?

I was already reckless and careless. 
But, meeting you made those worse and let them loose.
I was careless in making decisions that wouldn’t even go anywhere.
Reckless for ignoring the blooming flowers that surrounded me and focusing on the tree that was 
in front of me.
I made careless promises, that I kept until I can hold it.
I made reckless words that only made you flutter and blush, while my face was painted with a 
smile that looked like my dreams came true.
Until, those careless promises were broken for I can no longer bear to witness you being happy 
with someone else while you were with me.
Those reckless words were just mere sayings that I said to make you even mine just for a bit, a 
moment in time where I can say that “you were mine.”
But you were never mine to begin with.
I left you.
Bleeding tears that won’t come out, screaming agonizing cries that only my pillow can bear to 
hear.
I am still reckless and careless today.
But, being reckless made me a wreck.
And today, even if I still see, happy with your suitor that fits you well, I wish you the best for I couldn't care less.