Sigma Surface Mindset - Response

Liminal. A new word for me, actually (not being a student of formal psychology).  Limbo is where I have been for a long time. Many times. It's almost accepted now.

  So here we go.

  How can there not be an absolute state? I will live. I will die. There will be happiness and sorrow, whether I want it or not. In my way of processing the world around me, either the light or the dark will prevail, again, whether I want it or not. So where do I fit into that scheme? The world doesn't care. Certain people do, but in general, nah.

  I've adopted a certain flow, and like you said, it is very painful and very free. It's that dance that Mr. Gill refered to. You teeter on the edge. You know you can go either way very easily, but you choose to keep your balance as best you can. Then comes the vector. It hits you, knocks you off balance, leaves you hanging in liminal space, right? You didn't see it coming. It shouldn't have come, at least you don't think so - that's the fantasy! There are lessons to be learned, though. I've faced death at least four times in my life. After each encounter, I managed to come out on the other side (I think), mainly by fiat, but you're never the same person - that's the reality.

  This is a metaphysical topic. If you're trying to find the reasons for existence. The reasons for survival, after survival, after survival. You have to turn to something. Something grander than everything you've ever experienced. I did that. Eight years of devout dedication, only to find another vector (again, fantasy vs reality). Then you get up again, and realize what you've been divorced from. Anathema is a good word. That was one of the worst encounters with death. Betrayal, hatred, and neglect in a place it never should have been (fantasy). It'll leave you broken.

  So after personal testimony, and confession, you do what you are able to do, and you do it well. Friends, family will come and go, but someone always seems to be there to wittingly or unwittingly help carry the load.

  Light shines again (reality?), which makes me believe in absolutes again. I have to know/understand both good and evil just like everyone else. You try to find the flawed friends - the one's where the 'concern for others' outweighs the selfish tendencies. They're actually easy to spot. If you look for the right thing.


Reminiscing Runaway

White was the wedding in Idol's dream
Punked were the girls in a school bus scene
High school days that were so long ago
Old memories of a broken teen

So weary of it all, he was then
Now, considering what could have been
Long years in a swamp - pinned to the ground
By hateful, abusive, evil kin

Duran Duran were reaching their peak
New music would he soon have to seek
But not there in the bubbling morass
To other grounds, he would have to sneak

Distant coasts, where the sands were so white
That is where he would soon take the fight
To live a real life and to be free
Never again, a whippoorwill night

Songs were a way to ditch what had been
Soon Eddie and Layne would take him in
A path that he never thought could be
Cool crowds, long hair, bonfires, shark fins

Night on the beach would always be home
In all the places that he would roam
His feet in the shimmering white sands
Thinking of days that are long since gone


  That's the current state of things. It can change on a dime, but if you survive it all, was in not absolute? That's how I see the world I live in. They're all encounters, both good and bad, that end up forming you into something you would never have dreamed of early on. It has always been about the end result. Something you can't even see unless you look back.

  As far as nazis are concerned, there will always be a vector. Let's just hope the lessons can be learned and that previous lessons can be remembered.