Changeling

Save me from myself.
I don’t know who I am.
I know who I was but I don’t know that person anymore.
Nothing feels familiar.

The ugliness I feel on the inside
Stares back at me when I look in the mirror.

Who am I?
I know who I was but I don’t know that person anymore.
Nothing feels familiar.

When the darkness starts to boil over and the bubbles
seep out the lid.
I can’t clean up the mess fast enough.

Who am I?
I know who I was but I don’t know that person anymore.
Nothing feels familiar.

The backstory and entire life of the serpent
Is akin to my own.
Slick, unpredictable, calculated, precise, devisive, ruthless, meditated, suspecting,
Smart, cunning, shedding skin,
Plucked from comfort to experience lifetimes of sin.
Where do I begin?

Who am I?
I know who I was but I don’t know that person anymore.
Nothing feels familiar.

I’m my own worst enemy.
I know it all but I don’t know me.
Picking out their faults
For all the world to see.
But don’t try me!
My entire demeanor is meant to decieve.
There’s so much tension inside
I just need a release.
Is six feet under
The only way to be free?

Who am I?
I know who I was but I don’t know that person anymore.
Nothing feels familiar.

Just wanting to be seen
For everything I was and accepted for what I wasn’t.
But it went wrong.
I wore the mask for too long.
Same dance - same song.
So many lifetimes of being
Who I thought they needed me to be.
That I completely
and utterly
lost - Me.

Who am I?
I know who I was but I don’t know that person anymore.
Nothing feels familiar.

Am I truly ugly to the core?
The deeper I dig, I still keep finding more.
Mind, body, soul and spirit - I’m sore.
As the world spins around me
I’ve lost track of what I started fighting for.
My morality is poor.

Who am I?
I know who I was but I don’t know that person anymore.
Nothing feels familiar.

Time. Time. Time. Time. Time.
It’s always about time.
Coming and going - hurry up, time’s not slowing.
It’s taking too long, am I even growing?
Everything I thought I knew.
But it was myself - I should have tried knowing.

Who am I?
I know who I was but I don’t know that person anymore.
Nothing feels familiar.

The only person that can find out
Is Me.
Staying true to myself. Always. Is the only way I’ll be free.

 

~Ruby L.S.~