Second Nature

I bite the inside of my cheeks

When I’m thinking 

When I’m anxious 

When I’m focused

 

Almost like my mind knows what I’m feeling before I do

 

I like the idea that I’m being thought of

Even if it’s me thinking of me

 

But, recently I stopped biting the inside of my cheeks

 

Now I’m biting my lips 

Every time this man comes to mind

 

I don’t know whether to thank him or run & hide

 

Because now my mind isn’t thinking of me

It’s thinking of him

When I’m anxious 

When I’m focused

 

I can’t believe my mind would betray me like that

It was us against the world

 

Now I’m sitting at work thinking about changing my name tag from mine to ‘his girl’

 

I’m corny like that

I’m selfless like that

I’m obsessive like that

 

I’m a scorpio 

Not sure what that means

But I like to say it

At times to make the way I love 

seem less crazy

 

He’s a taurus

Still not knowing what that means

But I put us in a love calculator just to be sure

Sure that our stars are so aligned they’re playing for the same team

 

I like the idea that I’m being thought of 

So hopefully he thinks about me

 

Now that my mind no longer chooses to bite the inside of my cheeks

 

I’m weak in the knees

I hate to say it 

But his words and assurance feel like a hand rail

For the times I need my self-esteem to be held

 

I like the idea of being thought of though

So, when I think about him 

I like to think about me and him