I'm Stuck

The fleeting seizes my being. I falter. My spirit is engulfed by spirits. I'm left to the wind. a dried leaf caught in the turmoil of nature. It reflects the current mood. Tomorrow will be better than the last, though. I feel helpless in the moment. a temporary schism between my brain and heart. The choices I made need to try a different fork. I spoon feed my mind with intrusions into what I'm leaving behind. I hurt. This is worth it, yet I'm stuck in the mud, pulling at my ankles and binding my knees. I'm running in place in this place. I'm on pause, or so it seems. I'm so fucking lonely. I'm bound for a rebound, but I know it'll only cause minimal satisfaction. Its unnecessary and not what I need or want. I grasp at goals. I grasp at thoughts that flaunt a beautiful outcome. It's been so long. When the fuck will all of this pain be done? I'm treading water with what our lives have become. I don't distract, so I can heal, but I don't want to feel. I shudder and reel at the plate before me. I know there's a light ahead. This isn't my first time around. It's been so long since I've been able to heal. It's time to heal. I want to heal. I need to heal.