Deep Feeling

I feel it.
Changes at the epigenetic level.
It's like - an internal machine with parts
that move in and out of place.
Shift, rotate, drop, some spin out of control and haven't stopped.
It's more than alot.
But it's all I've got.

Heart strings are real
And they can be used as chaps.
Giving the most painful back slaps.
Or they can be braided
And swung around like a hammock
To support and soothe the heart.

Gone for a ride but here to subside
More than a runaway bride.
It was just pride.
Who I Am can no longer be denied.
And I don't want to fucking hide.
All these tears I've cried.
While they all kept up the lie
And tried
To destroy who I was inside.

But now it's time to pick a side.
And I choose mine.
It's about damn time.
Like a well oiled machine, I'll shine.
Just needed to free my mind.
Leave it all behind.
Forgiveness has been harder than I thought
To find.
But the help I get,
Must be Divine.
Letting me clear the line.
Of all the bullshit and trauma
That stained me like wine.
Said I'd be fine.
And more Love they applied.
Even got a few more Spirit Guides.
That's what really helps in my life.
People are so...mmh
But nature just is.
It can't be denied,
It doesn't need to lie.
Is that such a bad way to live?
If so tell me why?

~Ruby L.S.~