I AM

Wanted a slumber down in the valley
close by almond trees in worthy bloom
Ring the always longed for lyre tones.

But, became another

Wished to stand free in dark green autumn
cleansed from all the living years’ hard grin
To live and die pretty as an autumn leaf.

But, am by mistakes tied

Became rainfall, cold calling winds, trust in Fate,
a brief scent before death,
as scythed nettle,
broken citrus leaves,
autumn land after night rains

It wishes to shatter here

between the gravel and the foliage

Finding the worst love

That, which could not be found

But, I can undoubtedly love

when there is something to love

I am laid opened, as one solely unrotten,
in the apple basket given to the sorrows
I am so strangely hard, so oddly grained,
to be carried away from abandoned mills

Knowing all waving wind-flowers Sun kissed
Those, beautifully crestfallen, already dulled,
worn inside a heart that was nearly enough
and to your refusal have never been missed

For me, betrayal is not good enough,
cleanest love violated,
the ruins’ clothes
or my own will’s struggle slaughtered

I am entangled,
stricken down in quenching pettiness

I am grieved,
filled with all the days’ nothingness

I am mist raised,
clouded, covered underneath weakened will

I am hidden,
with this unreachable cold-hammered need

I am glowing snow on frozen stock
in memory’s burned down forests

I am incarcerated,
left where blemishes are left

I am my winnings pulled away,
taken and swept in a gulp

I am a still night cloud, a raised scent of leaves,
that will never find the Worlds again

Holding the Tree you know carries your leaves
while we break its limbs

I am this.

I am what you never can feel or know