I Hate Myself

I hate myself for trying so hard to play it off like I knew the truth wasn't real,

I heart myself for allowing my heart to open up and to tell you how I would truly feel.

I wish I could go back in time and never even look at you from the start,

Because, then maybe, six years later, I still wouldn't be trying to mend my broken heart. 

But if I am being honest, there is still that tiny part of me that wouldn't do that, even if I had the chance,

Because I knew I loved you from the start, and I am still waiting for us to have that last dance.

There is that part of me that will always be praying that I will be able to see you again some time,

Because I met you when I was at my worst, and you brought me back to my prime.

But, now that I see that there is no chance of us ever meeting once again, I am at a lower point than I was when I started,

Because now I know what it truly means to be broken hearted.

As much as it hurts, maybe it is for the best that we don't see each other anymore,

Because I am finally realizing that there is nothing left to keep fighting for.

And I know that it is going to hurt to have to let you go, but it would be harder to keep you around,

Because you used to be the person who would lift me up, but lately you are the reason that I have been feeling down.

You are one of the best people I have ever met, with a sincere smile and a heart of gold,

But I guess there is nothing in us left, because all of our story has been told.

I so badly wanted to believe that we would end up having our happy ever after, but I guess that's not meant for everyone,

Because a person can only take so much, before they finally have to be done.