To Whom it May Concern P.3 Pictures

Moving forward
It's no easy thing to do

For me to cling to
How I used to picture you
Till you betray yourself
Empty of basics

No humility
Searching for humanity is-
Searching for-

You showed the correct bits
But they were only pieces
I learned this to late
Strings shoot out
From fingertips

You think you have control
Like I'm a puppet
On the string of your shoe
Under foot
Below you
Until you catch the undertow

I can only bend so far
But that just makes you laugh
You want me to bend myself
In half
So I snap

You think I'm the bad person
While you try n stick yourself
Right into my personal life
Like a flea
A tick
You trick
You try n burrow in
And you call me evil when I refuse

Teach me how to speak
So I refuse to talk to you
More than I have to
Walk on shells
Sharp edges
Till I lose it

There's nothing wrong with me?
Surely then these vivid images
Flashing through my mind
Of what could happen if I keep
Bending

I can just choose to stop having this?
Oh, I never thought of that
Surely I can just wish it away then
Let me get right on that

The worse part is
Half the shit you say I can agree
And then it goes too far

Everything is an excuse
I can't explain without a shouting match
What the hell's the difference between
Explaining and excuses
If nothing I say matters anyways?

Vivid images burning in my mind
As I pull further back
Leave you with a ghost
Because apparently I'm a dummy
Speaking words that aren't mine
While a flame rages in my head

I only have myself to blame
For thinking letting anyone in
Would end well for me
Back away from the window
I stare out of myself from

All of them out there
Seem to have become monsters
And blame me for baring fangs back

Isolate
Isolate and save me from them
From that me
Isolate and save me from myself

Sorting words in baskets carefully
Because even a little one can set them off
Keep my hands to myself
Because reaching for help ends poorly

Help me
Understand
How to fix this
How to fix me
How to stop this veil from suffocating-

Reflections of what this could have been
Dance in puddles of what is
Dappled with what ifs
And trick me to stay

Maybe you're better off this way
Severed from me by distance
Because every time you face me
I'm forced to go blank

Maybe
Someday I can
Walk away
And say
You all disappoint me