Gyros

I saw you again today,

It was the first time since Christmas.

We’ve spent six months, a thousand miles apart.

I think I could’ve gone longer.

But I can’t say no to you,

And you know that.

You said you wanted gyros,

We always got gyros.

By ourselves;

with our friends.

We always got gyros.

Were they ever even good? 

I didn’t have my car.

You drove across town to get me

In your bright red truck.

Just holding the handle made me feel trapped,

But I suppose it’s fitting

that you have all the control.

We talked while you drove,

About the ups and downs of college. 

It was almost like “catching up”,

But I’m sure you weren’t listening.

Now that i think about it,

Were you ever?

We got gyros again.

The same man greeted us,

We ordered the same thing,

We sat at the same table.

They didn’t taste the same.

Not this time

This time each bite tastes like a memory.

One of “forgotten” plans,

Or tasteless jokes

That left me fighting back tears.

Questioning every word I said,

Worried what you’d think of me 

I’ve always been performing 

To make sure you had your laugh.

Who cares if it was at my expense?

I needed you to enjoy my company. 

Even though i didn’t enjoy yours,

I’m not sure I knew who I was without it.

I go back to school next week,

A thousand miles away.

I think I’m ready to let go now.

I don’t think I like myself when I’m with you.

I don’t think I like gyros.

I don’t know if I ever did.