My Own Pace (By God's Grace)

They say that only fools rush in
How many show repentance for their sin?
I've got a feeling what will happen again
Just continuing on at my own pace
Only here at all by God's grace
Not forgetting my mother
I remember being drugged up
On the couch and under a fluffy cover
Nearly braindead and my thoughts weren't too quick
She took care of me during the pandemic
Antipsychotic meds mess with your head
At one point wished someone would fill my skull with lead
The dark clouds have lifted far away from that time
I recognise when thoughts veer off the track their really not mine