Give it back

I miss the old me.

I missed the sweet me, the me that would easily forgive anyone that does me wrong for I understand that nobody is perfect.

I missed the understanding me, the side of me that would understand the views of others, a side of me that understood that they were busy or just didn’t have the energy to talk to me, the side that became their go-to person if they have a bad day or they just want to rant about something.

I miss the loving me, the side of me that loved people as much as I loved myself.

The side of me that loved people even if the relationship was rocky, or one-sided, despite that I continued to love.

But, I love the new me.

I love the toxic me, the new me that doesn’t believe in forgiveness anymore for it’s just a myth people use to trick people into believing them again to make the same mistake over and over again, and just say a flimsy “sorry.”

I love the close-minded me, if you don’t make me a priority then I’ll cut you off and treat you like you’re nothing. Why waste my time on people who treat me like a therapist or a priest telling me all their problems not knowing that their burden is already a part of me.

I love the cold-hearted me, you hate me I hate you more.

If you can’t reciprocate what I did to you, then fuck off don’t disturb my “peace” you piece of shit. 

“I’m not ready for a relationship,” stop lying, if you don’t want me tell me directly, reject me.

“What’s wrong with me?”

“There’s nothing wrong with you, we simply adapted and learned hard-hitting lessons that life threw at us.”

“I didn’t want to become like this, I never wanted to be like this!”

“Well, it's too late now, isn’t it?”

“YOU! Give it back! Give the old me back, please.”