Again and again..

The dark is whispering again

Again, in my ear 

My chest is burning inside a white-hot flame

Out of my eyes slip down the salty tears

Again.

I'm writing another poem about you

And dreaming of Elysian fields

The chilling wind of sharp voices again blew

The cracks in my heart still haven't been sealed

Again.

Again, and again

I think of all our anguishing memories

The good and the bad

So much that I get lost in a reverie

So much that I think I am mad.

My bleak and tortured brain

Is being numbed by pills for the pain again

Why was I even made?

I'm honestly so tired of living

So tired of all the sinning

Exhausted of how everyone's making a killing

While I still lay in my bed alone

Alone, again, stuck in a never-ending cycle of life and death

I just want to meet the end of my road

And I'm so tired of being played like a harpischord

Over and over again

Not even knowing or loving who I am

Like damn, can't I just be happy?

Have just one good thing

Without it being ripped away

The birds no longer sing

Or perhaps they do, just not for me

I'm so tired of trying to be enough for everyone

Trying to please those who cannot be pleased

Instead of being blinded by looking forward at the bright sun

I should just follow the beckoning shadows

Because, honestly, whats the point

If the same insidious wind still howls

Again.

Again my heart is being torn 

My too sharp teeth gnashing together

My body writhing and twisting like the dark, forlorn

Again and again, forever

Is there not an end

To this pain and misery

Will I ever learn to love or laugh again?

Will I ever solve life's mystery?

Or perhaps my life will be thrown away

Unnoticed by no one but the shades

Perhaps I'll thrive on the Plutonian shore

And collect asphodels that bloom forevermore

Bloom in woe just like I did

The wilted petals that will fall like blood

Bleak, bland, insipid

Until again they are reincarnated into another meaningless bud

Again.