Not-So-Exemplary

I wish I could be what you wanted. 

You think I'm strong, I am. But I'm exhausted

God, I'm sorry. I did what I could.

All I want is to be understood.

You say you see everything, 

You say you see how much I prioritize 'fun'

I'm sorry, I tried. I can't anymore. I'm done. 

 

I'm not perfect, I know. I tried to be.

She's gone now, the one person that didn't want me to change. 

She didn't care about my imperfections, she made me feel safe. 

She helped me love me. 

 

Don't worry, it's not your fault.

I know it wasn't your intention to make me feel this way.

But I do. 

You wouldn't understand, you never will.

I know even if though I'm imperfect, you'll still stay. 

You have to.

You love me,

I know. 

It hurts though,   knowing you're disappointed.

I tried everything,

I failed, still.