"My Rage"
During my childhood I was badly abused
and as I grew older, I became the accused.
The beating I took came straight from dad,
who used every obstacle to beat me so bad.
That tears that I've shed were because of fear,
that kick that I took it deafened my ear.
Doing hard labor at the age of nine
keeping the torment in back of my mind.
Eventually I became this child of steel
hard as a rock, with no tender feel.
I became immune to the blows to my head
as the tips of my welts that slightly bled.
The pain, it faded and my mind grew weak,
but as my body grew stronger, I became this freak.
He said he'll teach me from wrong to right,
but my rage grew stronger, so I stood to his fight.
He kicked down my door, I stood to my feet
he sensed the difference as our eyes finally meet.
I held no fear by the stare of my eyes
I was no longer afraid, but wanted him to die.
Speechless we stood as my fist starts to flinch
while he drew closer, I never flinched.
His first blow landed forcefully on my eye
I shook it off and said, "It's your turn to cry".
We fought like caged animals, He fell hard on the floor
I spat in his face and said, "NO MORE!".
After that night no two words were said,
walking to the beach with conflicting thoughts in my head.
Like: What did I do?, but yet felt as ease
I was happy to see him begging me please.
Was it the right thing for me to attack?
For the beatings to stop so he won't hit me back?
It must be the way for him to leave me alone.
I saw the fear in his eyes that had once been my own.
As I grew older it lingered in my mind
the memories I harbored never stayed behind.
I figured, "I'll be respected if I fight my way through
because I've powered over my dad and I can power over you".
I never started trouble, but if it came my way
I'd fight to destroy with nothing to say.
The littlest thing you do can get me mad
who knows what will happen as you fade into dad.
My past still haunts me after all these years
it brings me power and hides my fears.
When I get into rage I can no longer see,
but I know you're my dad who stands in front of me.
I'll give all I've got till the damage is done
once again my past has won.
I've abused so many loved ones or not,
but I never cared and I never stopped.
It took that one night when she yelled it at me,
"The Devils in your eyes, Oh GOD please help me!".
The fear that I saw it made my heart burn
I wanted to run, but no where to turn.
I looked deep in her eyes and I seen myself there
she was badly bruised, just shaking with fear.
Now I'm in prison and paying my dues
for the damages I've caused with scared black & blues.
The memories continue to haunt me today
I want it to stop, please GOD take it away.
"My hate for you will never fade"
The things you did to me
Took away what made me free.
I was a prisoner to you, locked in a chain.
You played me, like a puzzle piece in a game.
It keeps me awake at night
Because in my mind I wonder why?
How could you do this to me?
All this pain and misery
Your ugly soul brought upon me.
How do you live with yourself?
Knowing that you changed my life for me,
Took the things I never had.
I want and need it back so bad.
Our relationship started from something minor,
From there to something worse.
Things I thought I was imagining
Became a haunting and memorable curse.
Not only did you take my childhood,
You took my life.
Turned me around and slit me with a knife.
I never thought this would happen to me,
But it did.
I'll never forget,
I'll never forgive.
And all this pain I went through
Was just because I trusted you.
You stole my voice,
I had NO choice.
You took advantage of me,
Took control of my whole body.
And yet I stand strong, to this day.
My hate for you will never fade.
The battle is over, it hasn't just begun.
Now it's the end...I'm the girl still standing..
I'M THE GIRL WHO WON!!
Little glass bottle.
The words flow out,
My blood on a page
I'll just sit here,
Drowning in rage.
A small glass bottle
Full of tears
That I've held back
For thirteen years.
Why?
What did I do,
To earn such woe?
Why must I
Hate everyone so?
But yet,
I'll act strong.
I mustn't crack.
I won't,
Though this bottle
Breaks my back.
Where do broken hearts go?
Where do broken hearts go
When they don't have a song to sing
or have a prayer?
When your heart is bare?
Where do broken hearts go?
When your heart has been
ripped out of your chest
and stomped on?
When your body goes numb and
you can no longer care?
Where do broken hearts go
to shun themselves away from
the rest of the world?
When they're all alone and can't
stand to go on?
To be at one with themselves.
And think...think...
think...think.
Thinking why?
Why would this person want to
deliberately hurt me?
Was it something I did?
Something I said?
How could they do this to me?
Then the depression turns to
RAGE.
You feel betrayed.
Since your heart just went up
in flames
you want revenge.
Suddenly it turns into this
Bride of Chucky moment where
all you can think about is
kill, kill, kill.
Visualizing their blood being
splattered, painting itself
on the walls.
You get up
take a deep breath and
inhale the fumes of
the dead corpse.
Feeling relieved you leave
the scene.
Leaving them like you felt
COLD.
Colder than dry ice.
So answer this
WHERE DO BROKEN HEARTS GO?
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Comments6
Broken hearts go to healing through resilience and perceptions of causes .
Thank you.
I love this sooo much
Thanks that means so much
No problem 💕
Powerful poem, I'm glad you came through.
Thank you so much.
The Lord is nigh unto them with a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.
👍👍👍👍
Very powerful , thank you for sharing this. You should be very proud!
Thank you so very much Sir.
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