Fat Girl

I see

And I can perceive

The perfect they know

But that's something my body can't condone;

And I walk these halls

Quickly, before one of us falls,

Because it will be me who breaks

And these headaches,

They take over my body,

A result of starving oneself,

Trying to be

That CoverGirl pretty 

That all those who are skinny

Have it so easy

And now I'm stuck in this rhyme,

But this is a ladder I must climb,

Trying to get to the top 

Before I am forced to stop;

Because I am that fat girl

And those eyes like pearls

Watch me break 

Under the pressure I face

When I can't lose weight,

And I start to procrastinate;

Laying in bed 'til eventually

It's as if that provides immunity

To the harsh words I hear

From everyone I held dear

Because I am that fat girl,

Which seems to give reason

To commit treason

To a code us ladies hold close,

But now it is gross

To get too close

As if a breeze carries the weight

And I am just the bait.

And these stretch marks

On my stomach

My back

My thighs

Tend to verbalize:

"Not pregnant, just eating good"

And

"Oh you gained ten pounds?

Just go to the gym

You'll burn it off on a whim"

But girl,

That's not how it works

See,

Motivation is key,

But I never seems to be

A possibility I can reach

So I breach,

And I break

And these jeans start to feel tight,

But I smile through the pain,

And my stomach is gaining fame,

And everyone's looking,

But I keep on going

Because I am confident,

And I knew what it meant

When they said I was good "enough"

And although my journey's been rough

I am tough

Because I am that fat girl

And they don't know

The diets I've put myself in

And the people I've been

To get this far,

Because it's like walking through tar

Where progress is slow

But I know

That one day,

I won't be that fat girl

And I'll be able to twirl

In a dress that flatters my curves

Maybe my thighs won't touch

And I won't be as much

Maybe I'll go to the gym

And look so slim

Maybe the boys will fawn over me

When I look so pretty

Maybe I can count for beautiful 

When I am not that fat girl