Allow Me To Be Someone To Hold 

As I sit here and think to myself I realize I got it all together. 
I have a home, a job, and a son who I will love forever. 
It’s just hard to grasp that I am alone.
It’s hard to let go 
My past is the reason I can’t let me be someone to hold. 

But I don’t let it stop me,
I know the love is there.
I’m just not going to search for it, and try my best not to stare. 
Stare at the past, 
Stare at the future 
Focus on the present and make that my biggest feature. 

People say to me that I am beautiful, 
I am kind, 
And they would love to make me “Their love for life”.
I appreciate it but I just don’t feel no vibe. 
I’m just living my life, 
At peace, on this slow steady stride
And if I’m moving to slow you are welcome too pass bye. 

My past has been to fast, 
I was always looking for the next perfect match, and that’s where I lost track. 
Hoping that “this guy is my last.” 
It just never worked out that way
And hey it’s not just their fault. 
I was to damaged to even admit my own salt. 
 
My own wrongs 
My own “laws”. 
I finally got to the point of “hey I lost it.” 
I lost myself 
I lost my ways 
I lost everything that made me who I am today. 

But you see that’s why I’m happy,
I’m alone
And even though I make it impossible for me to be someone to hold
I know.
I just know someday when I let someone love me,
I will never let go.