LONGING IN THE SHADOWS

In the garden we used to wander, I saw you last night.

 You were in the shadows, hand in hand with someone else.

 Your shoulders seemed relaxed, and a smile played on your lips.

I smiled back, thinking, "I made you smile again."

 

As I watched you laugh and engage with the other person,

I wondered why I am not hearing your voice,

It struck me that you were laughing when I hadn't said anything at all.

 Still, I didn't mind; I just kept staring at you.

 

But as time passed, you started fading into the dim light.

I wondered why I couldn't see you clearly, blaming it on the poor lighting.

 Maybe, I thought, it was because I was thinking of you with a clear mind.

 

After a few moments, I realized I couldn't feel the warmth that used to be in your hands.

 Looking down, I discovered I wasn't holding anyone's hand.

 So, who were you holding hands with?

 

As my eyes traced through the darkness, I saw the girl you were with.

 She was shorter and thinner than me.

 It hit me that she was the one holding your hand, not me.

Why, shadow? Why make me feel foolish again?

 

I wished I could be the one you chose, but the reality is you picked her over me.

 I can't blame you; if I were in your shoes,

 I might have made the same choice.

 

Why would you choose someone like me,

 a clumsy girl with no apparent beauty?

 Others may have money, but I lack both.

 Why would you choose me?

 

The shadow still fools me,

making me think you could love me, even though it's impossible.

 I wish I could be the one you laugh with every day,

but I understand you can't, and I feel you.

 

I'll keep feeling you through the shadow,

 enjoying your smile even if it's not directed at me.

, feeling your hug even though it's not for me.

I'll remain with your shadow, as I can't have the real you.