You'll Never Get Why

As I was going through my previous work,

I feigned a real laugh

“I love you, you meant it”

Haha, absurd, the angels must be laughing

For you didn’t know the semantics to life

To struggle to sorrow to tears to pain

And yet here you were saying those

Excruciatingly piercing yet fluttering to some

3 words that made me somewhat insane

Sibilating from your eyes, the way they looked so horizonal

So close to drowning yet always on the tip

“Not everyone has to grow up so fast”

I didn’t either, the circumstances choked me babe

Just like my heart grieves with every breath I take

For the next minute of silence

Of peace of serenity of the ever-so slight luck of yours

Jealous? A little. Envious? Maybe. Mourning? A ton.

Imagery of the vast green lake parks at Kashmir

Tie me to its beautiful scenery in broad daylight

The only breath of fresh air I get

For I have to feign another day of being okay

With everything and everyone that is not.

In my head, I scout that place ever-so often

Lay in its luscious green fields with my face down

Smelling the earthy dew from each strand

While its fresh droplets cover my hands

Feeling every inch as if I let go, they’ll die today

Maybe they were just like me

Just needed a little love, not the tough kind

But some compassionate hugs

Wholeheartedly brimming with feeling

Feelings of love, empathy and care

The mere of which you lack

How did I find you sometimes I wonder

“In the escape of purgatory” a voice says back

Escaped with my soul in a hand

But realized it wasn’t mine halfway back

What do I do now babe?

Should I throw It away?

Or should I find a body for it?

Do you want it as a gift?

Just like you rive mines apart each day?

Because babe people don’t always

Have life as easy as an upperclassman

Enjoying the teenage rich boy life all day

There are some of us, hell most maybe

Who endure adversity everyday

In the hopes of it not even being fruitful

But just a little worth it in the end.