One More Time

Lately it seems like I am just fighting the same battle over and over again,

And I feel like I am in the same place now as I was back then.

I feel like I am trying so hard, but my past just keeps replaying on repeat,

And I feel like lately it just has me beat.

But I have realized that I have never allowed myself to heal,

And I never allowed myself to deal with what I've been through and allowed myself to feel.

That I don't always have to be the strong one; sometimes I need to admit that I am not okay,

And that it is okay to break down and fall apart at the end of the day.

Because if you don't work through it, and keep pushing it away, it will eventually come back to haunt you,

And it is going to continue to do this, no matter what you try to do.

And even though it is scary to try and move on and let your past go,

If you keep holding onto it, you are never going allow yourself to grow.

You are never going to reach your potential and be happy because this thing will always have control,

And there will always be a piece of you that is empty that is preventing you from being whole.

For so long, you have been controlling my life and preventing me from doing what I know I could do,

And preventing me from dealing with everything that I have been through.

But I deserve so much better and I feel like I am finally ready to move on,

Because that girl from the past is no longer here, and she is completely gone.

The one who cared too much about keeping everyone else happy, but it was making me upset,

And I let what others thought keep me away from going after what I wanted to get.

At this point, I don't want you in my life anymore,

Because I have finally realized that there really isn't anything left to keep fighting for.

You kicked me when I was down, when I really needed you,

Because all I wanted was someone to help me through.

The tough times that were going on, but I realized that you really don't care,

And I finally realized that the way you were treating me was not fair.

That I was good enough for you when there was no one else around,

But I am finally picking myself up off of the ground.

When you see me in the next five months, you are going to regret ever treating me wrong,

Because I have given you the benefit of the doubt for far too long.

You weren't there for me at my worst, so you don't deserve me when I am at my best,

Because I thought you were different, but it turns out that you are just like the rest.

I can't wait until the tables are turned, and you are the one who is begging me to come back,

Because I didn't allow your criticism to veer me off of my track.