Disappearing Into The Darkness

Life moves forward; Yet, I still remain in the past
Trying to pull myself together, but I keep collapsing to my knees
I continue living in misery
How I wake up every morning still to abide unsolved

Demons ingrained in my head won't fade away
Divulging to me I would never see the light of day
I strive to stay brave & strong for the ones that mean the most
But they see me as intrusive

I strive to live the life I want & deserve, but cannot succeed
Society has me tantalized in it's clutch
I try to break free from the manacles of negative thoughts
It's a hard that can never be achieved

I do not have a mind of my own
I have become a serf, to societies throne
Ruminating too much about the "what ifs"
Without looking to see I'm at the brink of the abyss

I don't know who I am anymore
I sense I'm a complete stranger to myself
They say time heals all things
If time heals, then why do I keep stressing 
And cannot help myself?

I continue trying to prove to society that I'm not a mistake
Like a vehicle without brakes
My heart shudders with fear & agony
Fear of disaffirmation & susceptibility

In this world I somehow find my way, a passage I will bid welcome
With strength I'll cast ahead, my dreams I will never jettison
Although the skies grow darker & wind roars loudly, I will sail through
For in my heart, I hold the truth, I am not a mistake