Grieving soul

I think I have to accept the fact that there is something unlovable about me,

I think it finds only those who reach out to it 

I feel like letting someone into my life now will ruin me and make things worse.

I wonder how I manage to keep up a smiley face always despite being suicidal every ticking second of the clock.

What's it like to not have to worry, not having to have anything to remind you of how unfortunate you are.

I pictured myself in a better place and it seems like it all happens in opposite.

Imagine being " the jack of all trade and the master of none" 

What an horror my life has turned into.

I am so scared of what's to come; gives me lots of anxiety.

I am loved but I don't feel loved, things are working but it seems not to me.

Dear God, how I ricochet between doubts and certainties

Photo credit X: dotinglyricism