I Will

What do you want from me?

I know you don't actually care

All you wanted

Was for my flesh

To be laid bare

A travesty of the 

Greatest

To pretend to care

To pretend to love

To pretend to also hurt

When you didn't

Ask me what's wrong

Your only intention

Of finding your lips on mine

Such a fool am I

To let vipers into my heart

Yet they look like angels

The poison fills me

Till I have nothing left

How do I trust

How do I love

When I thought maybe they could be the one

Love

Such a cruel kindness

Makes you want more

Yet gives nothing back

Does a good exist

Is that such a thing

I used to believe 

My hope is waning

I am drowning

In this dark 

Glittering

Shard-filled

World

Pieces fly from my chest

I try to catch the broken parts

Of my heart

They always slice

Through my grasp

Leaving more blood behind

I can feel the pressure

Of trying to be something more

Yet when I try all this world does

Is cut me down

Will I ever be cut some slack?

People often wonder where the kind

Genuine people have gone

We are hiding

Because 

We are hurt

We don't know how to survive in this world

I have people who care

Who need and love me

Yet I can never fully let someone in

I did that once

All I remember from that

Is a gaping

Fleshy

Overpouring wound

That still has not healed

I look for a love

That a friend cannot give me

My soul craves it

Yet cannot find it

I pour myself out into this world

A beckoning cry

Hoping

Praying 

Begging for something to answer me

I be my most authentic self that I feel I can be

Without showing the world 

The part of me

That scares me

For it is the part most easily hurt

I forgive without needing to know why

I hurt without knowing how

And

I love without needing a reason

I have been told to toughen up

To be mean

I don't know how to tell these people

No matter how many times I get hurt

I will never be able to hurt back

Some integral part of me

Just won't let me

I am a pure dove

Whose wings are slowly being clipped

The sun whose bright rays are dulling

I get taken 

Taken from

I give myself out

Till I have no self left 

My dam has been overflowing for too long

I fear what it means 

When there's no water left

Who will I be?

A shell?

I didn't like her

I don't want her

Giving is the only thing I know

It's killing me though

Down into the darkness I must go

To find a way to stop this

For if I cannot

I fear my bright flame

Will burn no more

I send a call out

Wiht my wounded

Bleeding soul

Praying for an answer

I know I won't receive

For the only answer that would matter

Is mine

I will be okay

I have to be okay

Who else will stare demons in their faces and win

If I were to walk away?

This burden I carry is great

I cannot turn away

Too many are in need

Too many would bleed

So here I stand

Heart in hand

Ready to meet my end

Whether it be now

Or days from it

Corpses can live amongst us

I will do my best to not be one

I will try

Oh, I will try

I don't want to

But for hope

For kindness

For all the things I know are right

I am willing to let my flame

Sputter and die

If that's what it takes so be it

Douse me in your water

Throw me in your oceans

I am flame and water

I did not quit

When my demons came knocking

You have not seen the last of me yet

My task is daunting

But as all great ones

I will take it with a smile

Make it worth it

For everyone's while

I promise I will

I will