Goodbye

How do I say goodbye
To someone I've known my whole damn life?
I was hoping for the best
But I've been giving my all
While you've been giving up

I look in the mirror
I see your face
You use your tears
As a weapon
7 years of my twenties
Gone down the drain

I know I shouldn't
But I cling to you
I have to get away
But why does it hurt so bad?
To learn any sort of independent behavior
From this parasitic relationship

Maybe loving me
Is why you can't love yourself
Filling me up to full
These roads you pave
Supposedly with love
I think I have to tear it all down

You know I'd stay
If you could tempt me
But I think I'd be happier somewhere else

These streets are empty now
Where once buildings stacked with care
Stood
But there's nothing left
This weight is getting too heavy

I can't take care of myself
And also you
Not anymore
I shouldn't have had to already anyway

You use your tears as a weapon
Stab into me
As you claim it was a mistake

If I'm strong enough to leave
And let you go
It needs to hurt less
But it can't
And it won't
Until I'm gone

Your hell is all I know
A familiar form for something
I was never meant to know
But I'm strangely comfortable in

Guiltless
In your head
And I desperately want to believe that
But time proves that wrong
Time and time again

I didn't want it to come to this
I didn't want this
But there's little choice

I have to say goodbye
To leave this all behind
To start new

I'm scared
Of what life is like without you
But I have to go

I think I'll miss you
But I won't miss us
Because this isn't healthy
A car crash everyone can see
Except us
Except you
Because this can't last

I hate to say
Everything I've been ignoring
Pushing away the thoughts I hate to think
But it's starting to be dark in the daylight
And it's getting harder to stay alive

Because I feel like
I've been trying to tell myself
This was all temporary
It would fix itself
But it won't
And the problem is
I'm so full of you
I can't find myself
Anymore

Goodbye hurts
But sometimes
It's all there is left