individuality

Today I painted my nails black
on my left hand
and with each stroke of the brush
I painted over every expectation
every rule that has been set for me

the education system is strange
I am eighteen, legally old enough to marry
but they won’t let me paint my nails black

tonight, I did it anyway
and once one hand was finished
I compared them both
my left hand finally feels like mine
my right is what they want me to be like

And I think I should leave it here
I’ve had my fun
a taste of individuality
and besides, there will be less to remove
once the time inevitably comes
but it’s too late
I dip the brush back into the paint
the rebellion tastes so sweet
I coat the next nail
black

I’ve forgotten how hard it is to paint with my left hand
I’ve left smudges all over my fingertips and cuticles
as if my hands have ripped apart the night sky
and I love it

Enthralled by the process of creation
I paint
my nails are bathed in artistry
these hands are finally mine
and when I have to undress them
they become a canvas
ready for next time.

22:26pm – 31/03/23.