one more time

 

how much longer am i going to be sick with your love?

 

or your tender violence?

 

you tell me

i’ll eat your heart

and chomping on my food

devour every corner where

you hide the memories of me

 

“you’ll never go,

you’ll live inside of me”

 

and we both know i will   

i love you so bad

that i can’t sleep

or maybe because i can’t stop thinking of death

 

so let’s do this thing one more time

 

you’ll hurt me

and i’ll pretend it didn’t hurt

 

you’ll bite me deep

and i’ll pretend i didn’t want that

 

you’ll leave me on the roadside

and i will cry my eyes out

because when you are gone, the colors are too

 

i don’t know what is true, the blindfold is too tight

 

but i remember

you always wanted to give me flowers

but you never did

as if you’d bought them

you would have stopped loving me

 

so let’s do this thing one more time

 

i will open my eyes

and no one will be here.

this hide-and-seek you like to play,

the games where i’m the one who’ll lose

 

i want to choose

myself

but the walls

keep moving 

so that i’m left

with nothing but a breath

 

but i will choose

myself

and when i leave

you crawl into my bedroom

with nothing on your mind but me

 

“so will we do this thing one more time?”