another me

 

every day i fall apart,

bit by bit.

my heart’s ablaze —

i keen on writing

 

sitting at my desk

hour to hour,

the words blur almost like cheap watercolors —

i drink my beer, keep on writing

 

every day i lose a part of me

and with so many days gone,

i feel like plastic

washed ashore

in some deserted country no-one saw

 

and i don’t know

or i don’t want to know

what buttons i must click

to stop this game

of light and shadows

 

but

 

somewhere in space there’s another me

that can’t find her peace too.

she counts all the stars in the sky before falling asleep,

she’s always looking for the right words too —

in the drawer, at the desk, and in the clouds

 

one day she’ll wake up and see a field of flowers,

blooming in the morning sun,

her heart filled with butterflies, flapping their transparent wings.

she’ll sleep well —

her heartbeat even, and her breath steady,

not an echo of the pain in her back

 

i will break myself to find her,

i don’t know how much more it’s gonna take

but i will do everything i can

even if it means i have to give it all

 

all of my paralyzed dreams

and off-key songs

and poems no-one finds amusing

 

i hope that while i’m draining

she’s getting better

and finding more smiles in the bedroom mirror

and once she hears the music

she waited so long to hear,

full of fresh air and green grass,

with harmonies flowing in the air..

 

i hope she will be writing

i hope she will