Deep Slumber

I live a life of lies
Hidden deep inside my mind
In places hard to find
I weave tapestries of dreams

I stay asleep
Even wide awake
I find my happiness comes
Mostly in my...head...
Where I can block out dread

Because fate is never
Kind to me
I find I'm...lost

Finding that there's
Always some
Hidden cost

Deep in this slumber I lay
Where all of my reality can
Fade
I'd trade
A life worth living
But I haven't got the time

Willing pain and hurt and sorrow
Deep into the dark
While my dreams mimic
A far distant realism
Where I am...free

Rhymes only seem to come
When I have no means to record
Them

But all the while
I must dial up my nerve

Ask what's wrong with me
What's wrong?

I've given till there's
Nothing left to give
And they took
Until I hid

Deep into this bed
Say I've lost my head

But here, I find
Mirrors aren't so...bad...

If I could only
Stay fast asleep
Warm and cozy in this
Blanket of lies I've woven
Each character I've chosen
Playing the part they're assigned
Never making me regret their inclusion
Never making me the intrusion

Trails around my broken
Little image
Of my self
As I try to find
Any reason I should leave
My mind behind

This mist obscures
All that's wrong with
What's left out there
I don't think any of it
Belongs to...me

Fill my space with things
I enjoy because they remind me
Of the world I made inside my
Head

Outside, I think
Sometimes
I might be better
Left unread

Do what you want
With my physical presence
I'm not there anyways
That body
May as well
Be
Dead

Has been for year
I've been living away
In my own reality
My own dreams
I can't reasonably obtain
Here

So why do I stay
Here?

Is it fear?
The dreams end
When I do
And even if happy is hard to find
At least I have everything I could
Ever desire in my mind

I...lied...

Lying to myself
Has become a specialty of

Mine

Like each and every time
I claim I'm

Fine

It's always...fine
Just...
Fine