May Barker Richardson

I’m old now. Perhaps not ancient and not old in years.
That’s just a number.
No I am old in my heart.
My soul yearns to take the great leap
from this sad world to a better place;
A place were Love drives every step.
I had a reasonable life I suppose.
Not too many visits to the hospital. I even had my babies
at home. Oh that was a chore but I got through it somehow.
There is an extraordinary amount of pain for such
an ordinary human action.
Still when I held my little baby son, Keith  in my arms I forgot
about the pain. I stared into his beautiful blue eyes;
And prayed to God. Thanking him for this little miracle.
Years later Keith suffered with Schizophrenia and smashed
his beautiful head through a plate glass window.
I fell to the ground and held his head and
watched the life drain from his face.
As I picked small shards of glass out of his beautiful eyes;
I remembered that God giveth and God taketh away.
I don’t think I loved God after that.
Oh I went to church but I secretly hated God
for taking my Keith.
I’m old now. Perhaps not ancient and not old in years.
That’s just a number.
No I am old in my heart.