Parallaxes

I was there when you blew,
but I had already beat you to it.
Thrown out, as debris, but with a determination you could not see.

Where would I go, where would I flee,
and would you hunt me down and catch me?
You tried, but it was too late, too late to determine my fate.

I looked back one day and I saw the glow,
and knew there would be no end to it.
It forced me to run so much further to get away, to see the light of another day.

to the coast I would go
to a place you did not know
where the waters continually flow
where happiness isn't as hollow

Fear was such a driving force.
At the time I couldn't recognize it, but in a way, you continued to prod, continued to sway, continued to drive me further away.

When the ground shook, I knew it was you.
When your roar shattered my ears, created the fears that forced me to tears, I'd go yet further away.

To make me, then to take me
down a horrid path, to enjoy it.
To break me into all the pieces, for all of your raging reasons, to which I was behest.

and so it is today
i still feel the dismay
knowing the word 'betray'
feeling its slow decay

But isn't that how everything goes?
To live a life, and just endure it,
because of the damage, because of the dread, because of the pulling of the thread. It leaves you kinda dead.

It was all of the things you said.
It was how I would make my bed, and live in the moment, and dream of derailment of your train of thought. My opponent that should not be.

Numb to the workings of the world,
Into which I was hurled, and left
to wander like a lost soul still in your control, riddled with holes, riven of goals.

it's here that I will be
for I can now truly see
the damage done to me
having never been free