My Mind State

My mind state is so messed up
My mind state is so fucked up
Lately my mind state has been so fucked up
It just won't shut up
So messed up
So fucked up
Lately my mind state has been so fucked up
It just won't shut up

My mind state is so messed up, 24/7
I honestly wish I died in 9/11
I know I shouldn't say that
But I wish I did
So I wouldn't have to live
With this mind state
That always takes away my time
Constantly breaking down my mind
Consuming me deep down inside
Don't know how much longer I can survive
I wish I would just go and die
My mind state is just so fucked up
It just won't shut up
I can never think positively
Only ever negatively
Always assuming the worst possibility
The worst outcome
How come?

Cuz my mind state is so messed up
My mind state is so fucked up
Lately my mind state has been so fucked up
It just won't shut up
So messed up
So fucked up
Lately my mind state has been so fucked up
It just won't shut up

My mind state is so messed up that
I'm afraid of being lonely
But I just want to be left alone
I want to go out
But I just want to stay home
I want to hang out with friends
But I hate social events
I'm not even tired
But I just want to sleep
I've been building muscles
But mentally I just feel so weak
I want to commit suicide
But I don't really want to die
I want to succeed
But I don't have the urge to succeed
I don't think there is a higher power
But I just want to believe
I want to achieve good grades
But after one question my energy just fades
I want to face all my fears
But I ain't that brave
Is this just my mind state playing tricks on me?
How come I can never see
Myself in the future or living to 23?
Is it my stupid ass mind state?
That makes me think I won't survive the next couple of days
I wish I could just rip away
My consuming mind state

Cuz my mind state is so messed up
My mind state is so fucked up
Lately my mind state has been so fucked up
It just won't shut up
So messed up
So fucked up
Lately my mind state has been so fucked up
Dealing with some type of pressure
It just won't shut up