Lead the way

Why do I feel so much pain?
And it becomes invisible
Driving myself out of my mind
To no longer be whole
To put me down
For an advantage.

Where do you want to take me?
- Come, the pain whispers
And it pulls my hair
To take me, to drag me
I pull back my head, "It's mine!"
But he persists, he really wants me.

Maybe I'll come, if you promise
You won’t keep me indefinitely
Give me some sense, I beg you
Don't take me just so you won't be alone.

I go, slowly, where it takes me
The questions are superfluous
I know where I'm going even though I don't want to
I'm going willingly, I think
But it's sweet.

He convinced me a long time ago,
Without my consent.
When we made a pact
To show me the world
But he was not sincere
And I didn't ask.

I wanted to believe what is beautiful
That he takes care of me
That he cares.
Deceitful as he is, doing what he knows
He told me that it's fine, just to come
The world is not as I see it
It’s what he shows me.