Plagued with lifelong lower gastrointestinal Sturm und Drang

Ever since a young lad
irritable bowel syndrome

in my humble pinion wracked

lower abdominal area
gurgled and ballooned gastrointestinal tract
(similar to following Colonoscopy preparation
slated for January 24th, 2024
at Phoenixville Hospital)

posterior issuing
vis a vis borborygmus crooning
in tandem and/or subsequent expulsion

eliminates fecal waste
witnessing sprinting to bathroom, this scribe

(against time) and jet propulsion

of sphincter muscles'

spasmodic desperately raced

unpleasant symptom of anxiety/ panic attack

twas a stranger to this rhyme stir,

who now finds himself barrack
cay did, and held hostage, where thoughts

about mooning doth not crack

a smile, or baring derriere tubby more exact
me up - matter of fact

no source of laughter, nada one ha intact
(despite usual presence of chuckles

from this fan of good humor) high jacked

for what seems a maternity leave

from all mothers tub be

thus envision, a bevy of pregnant gals

aching with cramps he

ving (times square of the hippopotamus)

with cervix fully dilated key

ping alert, when mother nature ready

to pull up all stops (via umbilical cord)
to deliver nee,
sans bundle of joy, followed

in quick succession with after birth re:

placental sack, hence

said effort to expel newborn

the closest scenario

experience ill suited to dance
afflicting this anxiety prone

lovely bones, an all expense
paid (seat of the pants)

accursed bane of proletariat grants
no truce to attend finds me

pampered asper this rants.

Germane generic geeky guy

about one twelfth (knight) enroute
to complete lxv luxurious Earth orbits

experienced chronic, demonic,
physiologically hegemonic...

irritable bowel syndrome

without shadow of a doubt,

yet aforementioned plight

the following lines of poetry
will not be about

problematic posterior plague.

After contemplating discomfort

linkedin with said medical condition,

yours truly realized aftermath

of Hurricane Ian concerning

those who weathered category storm

suffered a fate much worse

subsequently, I took a brief hiatus

typing lines of impossible

to understand questionable verse

challenging proclivity of one

yawping wordsmith being terse

yeah right you probably think

crowning glory upon

mine nonestablishmentarian literary endeavors

hands down majority of anonymous readers

would immediately qualify

his swiftly tailored prolix harried style
unquestionably, obviously, and irreverently

imposing expansive vocabulary as perverse,

no doubt hurling expletive donned curse

at me with every stinging breath they took.

The previous writing endeavor

attached catchy title

at outset intent to brook

unspoken protocols analogous to river,

which overflows banks swallowing

entire metropolitan areas

categorized as biblical flood

believed to occur once

every five hundred year

exhibiting impact greater

than storied facebook

(as personal side note,

said creation a markedly popular

social media platform)

influencing great swaths of populace

allowing, enabling, and providing

user trademark friendly look,

which ineluctably draws innocent naif

into webbed wide world,

where coders fashioned

innocuous virtual pitfalls

many a stalwart devout

online interoper figuratively snagged

courtesy tempting virtual,

lock, stock and
withal ingenious scandalous tailhook.