Tobacco

She smelt like cigarettes and roses
blooming and dying
Her eyes speaking depths of suffering
Yet looking at her, I'm the one that's crying
She gazed at me with a look so tender
Her lips glistening under the falling bits of ember. 
There was smoke drifting out her windowsill 
I wondered if it was her cig 
Or the affection she craved leaving her
As her life grew darker so did her lungs 
Blood spew as she coughed
Yet she looked at me and laughed 
"love why aren't you crying" I asked 
She glossed over my question and her plump cheeks flushed with colour
"it's because you're my lover, my tears will also make you suffer" her gentle lips softly touched mine 
She tasted of misery and warmth 
I whispered 
"I hate myself for not being able to help you 
But I'll always be there for what you're going through" 
With each puff the pain in her smile disappeared
But came closer to the thing I feared 
Tobacco was stealing her away from me 
But also her incessant melancholy 
Smoke wafted through the room 
And the sounds of machines flooded through 
As she smiled, I cried 
When she spoke truth, I lied, to myself 
And finally when she lived, I died 
Her warmth vanished from my life 
Her giggles didn't wonder me around 
It was silent, not a single sound 

I stood by her resting place 
Being tempted to give chase 
But she never wanted that for me 
Told me there was a world I should explore and see. 
My love
She smelt like roses