Violent Kisses

The love we share, it is an alluring fantasy
Cemented in perfect but indelible stains
Crude and glittering in my dreamscape
He stays the same when I'm hardcore
I picture the ripple effect
His hands caressing my naked body
His violent kisses seep and ricochet under my skin 
If it is easy to love you and let you go
Then show me how to escape this labyrinth of teardrops
And bells ringing out, speaking in cursive zephyrs 

I remember you like an angel with broken wings
Oily and genuflecting
Woolgathering and gallivanting through memories
Of wanderlust and a carefree youth
Fading like winter rain
Bursting with echoing nostalgia 

Taste the vodka on my lips dripping with boyish filth
They taste like cherries and freedom
A droning atmosphere, a sea of gold dust whispering
In a nude painting I see the man of my dreams
Sculpted out of desire and sweat
Alive with moonlight and the rush of music
Soaring through my veins 
Morning dew and endless thoughts of you
Climbing through the shivering roots of lust, lust, lust

I am the prince of my own destruction
Drinking beer and flirting with strangers in bars
I walk through lonely streets
Smoking cigarettes and quietly smiling at the neon lights
The chalk of my breath, the art of my suicide 
Writhed in deep hopelessness drowning true love 
Falling asunder like a dancing ghost
The night is a plague, a constant thought on my mind
And yet, somewhere out there, I am happy 

It's almost as if everything means nothing
And yet everything is overwhelming
And this ambivalent shrugging is like a warm embrace
Perpetual peacefulness cocooned in bittersweet emotions
Ice crystals suspend in time's immortal bondage 
Safe like a secret woven into a fetish
Silent loneliness and longing 
I fuck myself until I am numb
And I love you more than the drugs
And I see now this pleasure is a lie
That his violence is pure
His charming beauty is a stain in the dirt

Where I stare out at the city gloating and glowing 
My heart is a lambent flame flickering in the dark
And there is no ending to my love
My blood, my spine
The years of insomnia illuminating us
I am bored and melancholic, but somewhere out there
I am happy.